Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

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Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

Post  Raye on 2011-12-19, 15:16

As the topic says my step dad is having problems getting over the separation.
It has been 3 month's since my mom got separated from my step-dad and he was all teary eyed when we said he couldn't live with us no more because we were tired of his negative attitude and his smoking habit which i believed i got an allergic reaction to nicotine.
During my high school life i was a happy person until later where i found out i became more aggressive and hated everything and my mom felt the same way at her work and the main reason for all this negative behavior was from my step dad.He only came home during weeks at a time so when he was gone we were all happy but when he came home it was like living with the Devil.
He was with us he was constant nagging about how his life was over and there was nothing to live for since he lost this job when he had passed out from a "coughing attack" that caused his 18 wheeler truck to crash and after he got out of the hospital he said it was my mom's fault cuz she said you have to go we cant bare living with your habits anymore.
Here we are now 3 months after the separation and he still calls us and saying can i come home and spend christmas with you and i miss you.

What do you guy think i should do? Has you family ever been in chaotic situations like this with your family? Do you have any stories like this then post in thi topic?
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Re: Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

Post  Yugiohparadox on 2011-12-21, 19:57

Personally, I believe that you should forgo your step-dad, because he was given many chances to improve for the better, but he didn't take of those opportunities

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Re: Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

Post  Red_Chaos on 2011-12-21, 21:20

change your name, move some place he can't find you
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Re: Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

Post  exiled_force on 2011-12-24, 03:17

Raye wrote:As the topic says my step dad is having problems getting over the separation.
Here we are now 3 months after the separation and he still calls us and saying can i come home and spend christmas with you and i miss you.

This is normal. Anyone who's attained that kind of comfort that's gained over the course of so many years will find it hard to get over any kind of separation. He just lost the people he hung out with all the time. Anyone that has that happen to them will feel the same regardless.

He only came home during weeks at a time so when he was gone we were all happy but when he came home it was like living with the Devil.

It has been 3 month's since my mom got separated from my step-dad and he was all teary eyed when we said he couldn't live with us no more because we were tired of his negative attitude and his smoking habit which i believed i got an allergic reaction to nicotine.

I understand you must have some kind of familial feelings for him, otherwise this wouldn't even be up for debate. First off, a father figure is always good to have. But in the situation you describe, it may not be worth it. Given your description, I'd assume you'd be happier without him. UNDERSTAND THIS. If you bring him home, it will mean more of living with the devil, and less of the happiness you seek, even if you are more aggressive because of him. It also means that the smoking habit he had will come back, probably tenfold, and your allergy may even get worse from having him around. Do you like your life without him?

And weren't you saying this?
During my high school life i was a happy person until later where i found out i became more aggressive and hated everything and my mom felt the same way at her work and the main reason for all this negative behavior was from my step dad.

So you know why you act the way you do, but blame him for it. Nowhere in there did you say if you still did it or not. But if you still do act out like that, and you continue to take that path, it will only lead to more pain and suffering. You cannot continue to blame your dad for your actions. He is already physically gone and not in the same home as you anymore. It has been proven that even those emotionally abused have the capacity to tell right from wrong. I know you can do it. If you find that you cannot change, or it is more difficult for you, i'd strongly suggest seeing a psychologist. DO NOT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY. When I suggest it, it is strongly out of concern for you. Think about it. Do you really want to go through life aggressive? If that's the case, your dad may as well follow you forever as the same attitude that he carried THAT YOU SEEM TO DESPISE lives on in you and your mom. I may not know you, but even though I may not know you, I would not want you to go through this. There is enough pain and suffering in the world without more people adding to this... and in addition, your father may need help. If you take him back, you are not helping him. Watch over him if you want to, but do not let him back into your world.


He was with us he was constant nagging about how his life was over and there was nothing to live for since he lost this job when he had passed out from a "coughing attack" that caused his 18 wheeler truck to crash and after he got out of the hospital he said it was my mom's fault cuz she said you have to go we cant bare living with your habits anymore.

He has given up. This is quite unfortunate, as the man is still alive and breathing and able to see and talk and hear and the saddest thing about this man? He forgets HE ACTUALLY HAS A CHANCE. He has given up where people far less fortunate then him would love to trade places. Has he lost a leg? Does he have cancer? Is he still capable of walking and talking and breathing? This man does not seem to know the meaning of nothing to live for and if you take him back, HE WILL NOT CHANGE.


What do you guys think i should do? Has your family ever been in chaotic situations like this with your family? Do you have any stories like this? then post in this topic?

I do. But I will not share my story with you. Let's focus on one story at a time.
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Re: Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

Post  Occultdude17 on 2011-12-26, 22:42

You've told him repeatedly that you don't want to talk to him? Then get a restraining order.
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Re: Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

Post  Raye on 2011-12-27, 17:03

we jsu tignore him and im happy without him and i aint as aggresive anymore
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Re: Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

Post  exiled_force on 2011-12-28, 01:54

Raye wrote:we jsu tignore him and im happy without him and i aint as aggresive anymore

Good for you. A step in the right direction. Now your life can finally begin to be fixed. Congratulations!!!!!
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Re: Step Dad who sucks at getting over Marriages

Post  Yugiohparadox on 2011-12-28, 12:15

fantastic!vYour life should be better for you now. Very Happy

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